All You Have To Do Is Jump
by PunkVampy
Summary: A one shot about my OC Feathers. Written in her POV. Feathers loved Gabriel. And he loved her back. But when Castiel was a baby Heaven was a very different place. And even after the most terrible events take place, Feathers watches over her angel until the very end. Large OC's involved.


_**Right, I came up with this in the middle of the night, and I literally got up, opened my laptop and started writing. I don't know where it came from or what made me start it but its been written and I have nothing else to do with it so I'm posting it on here. Feathers and Jiah are my own characters, I own them. All known characters from SUPERNATURAL belong to Erik Kripke and Warner Bros. All except Aziraphale, who is from the book Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. A book that I recommend, might I add. Halfway through this something happens that some of you might find a little confuddling if you haven't read Rubix Cube, which is the story where Feathers first appears. Ok, so…that's that. I hope you enjoy your read and…review! Maybe? Please? *Sammy puppy eyes* **_

_**Punk ;)**_

_**-PAGE BREAK-**_

I don't know what to do anymore. Time is running off without me. Lately I just feel that I don't know anything. People that I thought I could trust turned against me, people who I thought I could depend on were suddenly miles away, not so much physically as mentally. I don't know what Raphael is doing but whatever it is, I don't agree with it. I know that they would probably stab me straight in the heart if I said this aloud, but…to be honest I think this is heading the same way as Lucifer. Terrible thing to say, I know; but that's honestly how things are going.

I've been alive for a long long time. I've seen things that none of you would even dream of seeing. Not even with your amazing capability of making things that are otherwise known as myths and fables into something that lives, and _breathes. _I will never understand what you humans call Hollywood. I apologize, I'm coming off subject. Try to imagine what its like, to sit on the edge of a cliff, with your legs dangling over the edge into a deep black abyss. You would be scared, wouldn't you? Worried that with one false movement you could slip…and fall. But how would you feel when I told you that I had no such fear, because _he_ was with me. Gabriel. Gabriel Jehovah, the fourth, youngest and most relaxed of the archangels. We started off as friends, well, most people do don't they? I think I must have been the equivalent of a fourteen year old when I first met him. It's a rather peculiar tale but something tells me that that is another story for another time. He sat there with me, kicking his legs back and forth and staring down into the blackness.  
"Why are we here?" I asked. Not because I really wanted to know, I just wanted to strike up a conversation.  
He looked at me slowly, and I instantly regretted speaking. His tawny eyes seemed to twinkle in the half light of the stars. His hair was messy and unkempt but was still swept back off his face in his usual style.  
"Well I come here to breathe." He looked back straight ahead. Staring back at the blackness.  
I shifted on my hands a little, my arms were stretched out behind me, keeping me upright. "to breathe?"

"Yeah." He didn't look back at me. "Sometimes Mike and Luci make hard to."

"Oh." I looked away and bit my lip. I hated it when I accidently made him bring up his brothers. Michael and Lucifer had ruined many things in heaven. They had torn us apart, made us, innocent teenagers train to fight and to kill…but all of that I was mildly ok with, even it was in a few years to come; but if there was one thing that angered me more than anything…it was the fact that the whole thing had shattered Gabriel's heart into a thousand, unfixable pieces. That was what angered me. Seeing him like this. It broke my heart as well.

"Don't matter." He finally said, kicking his legs back and forth like a child. "We're away from it now aren't we?"  
I nodded, my eyes never left the darkness below us. "What's down there?" I asked.  
"Dunno, never really looked. Dad used to tell me that it was a nursery."

"A nursery?" I asked, more than a little confused. Well you would be wouldn't you? Gabriel threw a rock down into the darkness. I didn't hear it hit the ground. So that answered my next question of how deep it was. "Yeah." He said, zipping his green jacket up. "A star nursery. Dad says its where he makes all the stars."

"But I don't see any stars." I said, tilting my head to the side. "Surely if it's a nursery then we would be able to see them"

Gabriel got to his feet. "Yeah…you're right," He reached out a hand and pulled me up. "There needs to be more excitement around here doesn't there?"

"Gabriel, what are you—" I stopped as he took my hand again. "Ready?" He said, with a smirk.

Anyone would be scared. Everyone would be scared if they were in the position that I was in now. But I wasn't. There wasn't an ounce of fear in my grace. I didn't know what he was planning and what part I played in it. But I nodded.

"All you have to do is jump…" he said, with a smile

It's strange, how my trail of thought wasn't _Oh lord, I've just jumped off a cliff into deep space when I haven't even completed my flight lessons…_oh no…my thoughts were entirely different.

_Thank Heaven that I'm wearing jeans. _

I didn't scream. I didn't scream when I felt the wind hit my face or the sudden weightlessness that coursed its way through my body. I could hear Gabriel. Laughing and whooping as we fell into the darkness.

And then I could see them. The stars. Shimmering like glitter cast across the entire entity that made up the sky. They were everywhere. I was falling through the stars. All the time Gabriel had hold of my hand. Purples and whites and blues…all reflected in his tawny eyes. It's funny, how I was falling through a galaxy, overflowing with stars and comets and distant worlds…and yet the only beauty that I saw was in his eyes as he smiled at me.

Oh, the trouble that we got in when he flew us back. It was like the entire higher powers of Heaven wanted to scream at us. Which is what they did. But I didn't care. I don't know what he does to me. There I was, ever since I can remember, being the good girl that everyone asked for help with on their homework, who knew all of the teachers by their first names who was 'the pride of All Hallows High' I changed so much when I was with him. Suddenly I wasn't a teacher's pet. I actually let my hair down and was just…different. Of course, back then Gabriel and I were just friends. It took him 2 years to actually tell me the three words that I already knew existed in our hearts.

If anyone flipped the most then it was Michael and Lucifer. They even took the time to stop shouting at each other and shout at him instead. Which is quite pleasant of them when you consider the circumstances. But there was something lying in the back of their shouts of "How could you do something like this?!" and "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?!"…there was relief. Relief that was previously worry. Well, it wasn't exactly like Gabriel had told his elder brothers were he was going was it? I always remember Lucifer before he fell. How he made his duty to teach Gabriel everything he knew. When I think about it there was quite a lot of Lucifer in Gabriel. But not the bad bits. Oh no, Gabriel was made up of the old bits of Lucifer. The carelessness, the smiles and the laughter, the wit…oh, and the couldn't give a shit attitude but that isn't exactly something that I would say aloud. If there was one thing that sticks in my memory it is what Lucifer did when we walked through those doors. Michael looked like he was all set to explode; but Lucifer? Lucifer was the one that skidded to his knees, that pulled Gabriel to him and held him close. Whispering over and over again that he shouldn't scare him like that.

Of course I didn't exactly get away without being shouted at. My elder brother, Forcas…he…gave me my discipline. As he usually did. I didn't care though. It was keeping Jiah safe. And if anything mattered to me more than Gabriel it was Jiah. My little brother. My little lightning spark. He was the one that depended on me. The one that trusted me with every inch of his being because I was his elder sister.

The night that I fell through the stars is a memory that seems to have faded over time. One that I can't really remember but one that I can't really forget either. But before I knew right form left things changed again. I think it was a few centuries later. I must have been eighteen when the war started. The rebellion. Would it amaze you if I told you that Lucifer hadn't even fallen yet? In fact he was still a trusted member of the hosts. The rebellion was led by two…for lack of a better description, dicks. Argento and Katatron. Believe me, they were _not_ nice guys. The beginning of the war was one of those things that the little fledglings would ask "Where were you when it started?" in years to come.

Where was I? I was in the library. Yes yes laugh it up. But that was one of the places where I would go to…well as Gabriel would say, that was where I went to breathe. I just loved reading all the books that these wonderful creatures had written over the years. Dickens and Shakespeare…J.K Rowling and J.R Tolkien…All of these fantastic fantasies and worlds..I just got lost in them.

I was talking to my friend when it happened. Aziraphale. Angel of the eastern gate and the closest thing to a best friend I ever had. He looked up at me and smiled, his thick British accent always made me feel at home.  
"Need any help, love?" He asked. I shook my head. Aziraphale pushed his wire rimmed glasses up his nose and glanced at his watch. "You should be getting home, 'Vailia…you know how Gabriel worries. It's getting late out."

"Really?" I looked up at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room and frowned. I closed the book, hiding a satisfied smile when a cloud of dust poofed out of it. "Looks like I've lost track of time again."  
Aziraphale smiled. "Isn't that what books are for?"

I smiled at him and he smiled at me. He nodded at the book in my hands. "You can keep that, dear."  
I glanced down at it. "Oh…thank you."

He nodded and looked back at his work. "Hurry home now, stay on the main roads."  
"Aziraphale I'll be fine."  
"I'll just tell Gabriel that when he comes looking for you. Go on, get home."

That was the last time that I saw Aziraphale Dulcedo. When I stepped off the last marble step and my foot crunched in the snow…that was when the worst night in my life truly began. I made sure my beanie hat was firm on my head and my scarf was wrapped around my shoulders, my woolly winter coat was buttoned up and that my gloves were on properly. I slipped the old Leatherbound book into my satchel and started the long walk home. Gabriel, seeing as he was one of Chuck's boys, lived in the house (that was really more like a mansion) on Morning Street. Me? I lived in a ground floor flat in the back end of the main city. Gabriel had been coming over a lot at that time. Forcas was out. Probably getting drunk or something. Balthazar and Jiah were having a sleep over that-couldn't-be-called-a-sleep-over-because-they-weren't-silly-girls at the flat and Gabriel had decided to come over as well, along with the cute little ball of fluff that was baby Castiel, their new baby brother. He was so precious!

Once again I'm digressing aren't I? Seems to be a habit of mine. I apologize.

As I walked down the snowy streets there was only really one thing on my mind. I just wanted to get home out of the cold, curl up on the couch next to Gabriel and just talk. That's what we did. We just talked. Gabriel fancied himself as a bit of a romancer. I'm not denying it, sometimes he could be really sweet, but if anything its Balthazar the women of the universe should look out for. Yes, he's only fifteen but when that boy grows up…Woah.

Something wasn't right. I wasn't entirely sure what but I could just tell. Pausing midstep I looked behind me. Nothing. The only movement in the night was the snow, falling from the sky, dancing through the air and covering my footsteps. I shook my head and carried on my way.

Things like that always happen don't they? There's always some girl walking in a deserted street in the middle of the night all on her own. She hears something, turns and nothing is there. And then the thing that she thought was there comes up from behind and then, you know what? If you want to know what I mean just watch any one of what you humans call Horror Movies and you'll get the general gist.

But what I'm trying to get across is that isn't always the case. Nothing was there when I turned around, and nothing came and cut my head off when I carried on walking. But still my mind carried on wondering and after every step or so I glanced behind my shoulder. There was still nothing there. Of course there wasn't. But still Aziraphale's words were circling around in my mind.

_Hurry home now. Stay on the main roads. _

When you're scared you start to think irrational things. And my mind was full of them as I walked down that street. The kind that happen when you're lying in bed trying to sleep and your brain suddenly says _you know what you haven't thought about for a while? Paranormal Activity. _

Yeah…I watch too much human stuff.

I was just a few blocks away when I saw it. The one thing that made every single hair on my arms stand on end.

It was burning. The whole of my neighbourhood was burning. For a moment or two I just stood there and stared. Angels, in dark cloaks were dragging people out of the fire. Dragging them out of the fire and then running them through with their blades. A lot of their victims were just little kids. Poor defenceless little kids.

I think it was that thought that finally made my mind snap. Jiah. Balthazar. Gabriel….little Castiel…these cloaked rebels, whoever they were, they would not stop and hesitate when they found baby Castiel would they? I started to run. Blotting out the screams and cries for help the best that I could. I had to get home. I had to get home. Looking back, I should've known that Gabriel would have been more than capable of looking after the boys and getting them to safety. But I was eighteen. And even if he was my boyfriend I still had to be there.

My scarf caught on tree branch, I wrestled myself out of it, my hat fell as I did so, landing in the snow that was spattered with blood droplets. I could barely feel the snowflakes as they coated my red hair, all I could feel was the heat blazing in my face and heart thundering in my chest.

"Where do you think you're going, pretty lady?"

I froze. Why? Why did I stop? I should have kept on running! Mind you, this is now, that was then. I should have known Virgil would rebel at some point. He was always the school bully, in fact it was through him that I first met Gabriel so I do owe him something. But to be perfectly honest, when he had a blade angled at my throat I was seriously reconsidering the matter.

"Why are you doing this Virgil? What have these people done to you?"

"Nothing" Virgil said with a smirk. "We're doing this because we _can_"

I took a step back, and he took a step forward, pressing the blade across my neck.  
"You always thought you were so much better than the rest of us, didn't you?" He said, throught gritted teeth. I tried to pull away but the grip that he had on my wrist was too tight.

"Huh? You little bitch!" He backhanded me across my face, I would have fallen if he hadn't pulled me up again. Before I could even blink he was on the floor. A blade pointed at his own throat.

"Next time you should look behind you before you hit her."

Virgil scarpered. He didn't even look back. Gabriel stooped near me and brushed some hair out of my face. "Feath?"

It was only him that called me Feathers. Only because I knocked into one of the maids when she was plucking the feathers out of the geese. She fell over, the feathers went everywhere and all I could hear was Gabriel laughing.

"Feathy?" The flames were reflecting in his eyes. Jiah was at my side in minutes. "Vailia? Vailia did he hurt you?" I saw Balthazar peering over his shoulder, his eyes alive with worry. "W-Where's Cas?" I managed. Balthazar moved a little closer and then I could see Castiel huddled to his chest. Balthazar was carrying him in such a way that seemed to scream _you even think about going near him and you'll be dead before you can blink_ to anyone that would dare try to hurt him. Gabriel looked at me for a few more seconds before pulling me to my feet.  
"Didn't I tell you to come home? Didn't I tell you to leave the library until later? Feathers you have no idea how scared I was…I.." He hugged me then. I hid my face in his shoulder. I had to close my eyes. I couldn't bare to look at their faces. Balthazar and Jiah were looking around themselves with wide eyes. Their faces were smudged with smoke and soot. The snow was almost black. Gabriel took us to an old deserted house on the outskirts of Heaven, away from the blaze and the slaughter. And we sat there, huddled in the corner. Castiel wouldn't stop crying and Balthazar didn't stray from Gabriel's side. Gabriel didn't let me out of his sight. But Jiah…Jiah just sat there, looking out of the window and into the night, watching the orangey glaze burn in the distance. He barely spoke.

And that was the worst night of my life. I had nightmares about it for many centuries to come. A war had started. We were trained. To fight. To kill. Our own species. Gabriel was cast forward. The Archangel that he was. To be a general. Along with Michael, Lucifer and Raphael. He ahted it. We all hated it. The fact that Balthazar and Jiah had to fight with us was almost too much to bare. But we did. We fought. The rebels were sick enough to attack the school. Balthazar and Jiah were lucky to escape with their lives. But their friend, Miko, the poor child wasn't so lucky.

"You know, we could get away from all of this" Gabriel mumbled in a hoarse voice as he ran his fingers through my hair. "We could be together, just me and you. In a little house on earth somewhere. Just be normal people. We could do whatever we wanted to do. Get married…have kids…anything you want, Feath. We could escape this, get the boys away from it all…get them where we know they'll be safe….Feathy…Feathers…F-Fervailia wake up…please wake up…p-please…"

I watch as he dips his head, pulls my body close to him and buries his face in my hair. Redder now than it ever had been. Stained with blood…my blood. His hand was still clamped over the stab wound as he kissed me for the last time.

He didn't know it but I was watching over him. Every single day after I died. Jiah didn't last much longer than I did. Sad, but true. He was killed, one night. And I am told that he died in Balthazar's arms. The rebels were eventually stamped out by God. And that was the last anyone ever saw of him. By then Michael and Lucifer's arguing had reached a whole new high. Lucifer twisted a human soul. Made Lilith, a demon. And then he fell. Cast out of Heaven just like that. Sent to hell to burn in fire. Gabriel tried to hide how he felt through fake smiles and snarky comments for the sake of Balthazar and Castiel. They were the only ones he had left. Michael was a recluse and Raphael just didn't care. But I knew how Gabriel really felt. Behind all those smiles and laughter he was a broken boy. A broken boy who became a man too soon. I knew that he would snap at one point.

He left on the eve of Balthazar's sixteenth century birthday. Handed him a sleeping Castiel and hugged them both tightly to his chest. All he said was "I can't do this anymore" and then he left. He didn't even look back. And this is what angers me. What Lucifer did is unforgivable.

I watched over him as he shed his angelicness. Donned a fake name. Loki. A Trickster. He covered up the way that he felt through alcohol, drugs and sex. Broken. He really was broken Sometimes I wonder if it would have been different if I had been by his side. But the reality is, when Dean and Sam Winchester first barged their way into his life I had been dead for two millennia. Balthazar had faked his death to get out of the Second War Of Heaven. And Castiel…that sweet little bundle of black hair and blue eyes…he had grown up. Grown up into a man that I knew would change everything. As for my friend Aziraphale? Last I heard from him he ran a bookshop somewhere in London. Gabriel hid from who he really was because he knew…he knew that it was all going to end with Dean and Sam Winchester. The brothers that were made for his brothers. The true vessels that had been rumoured, whispered around Heaven ever since I was a fledgling. He taught them. Gave them what he called their just desserts. Making them bicker. Making the younger of the two see his elder brother, the one that he idolised die over and over again in many different ways. All the time that I saw this my only thoughts were how much he had changed. Trapping the brothers in TV Land. …that was when things really started to go downhill for him. I couldn't believe my eyes when he through his little brother into a wall. Castiel looked so…confused. Did Gabriel really care about protecting his alter ego so much that he would do such a thing to the brother that was more like a child, a child that he had nursed and cared for thousands of years?

They knew who he was. Dean and Sam had figured it out. It pained me to hear his words. How he shouted that he couldn't stand it anymore. How he couldn't bare to see Michael and Lucifer tear at each other's throats. They were words that I had heard before, but not shouted. Whispered. Whispered on the breath of a sob as I held him. He had changed. And I didn't know what to do.

And then of course there was the Elysian Fields Hotel. And Kali. I was glad…glad that he had moved on. That he had found someone. Coz at the end of the day I was just a girl that he met when he was fourteen. The girl that needed saving from a mean old bully on the first day of school. She was a _Goddess. _And he loved her. …well the slut did stab him in the heart but..heh…am I getting jealous? I think I am. Anyway. After all this time I knew that he had changed. That the world was bitter through his eyes and the only way that he could make some of the pain go away was by messing with people. But I also knew that deep down, he was still the same boy that I fell in love with on the corridors of All Hallows High. If I could, I would have hugged Dean Winchester that night. What he said to Gabriel in the car. How he made him _think_. He woke up the Gabriel that I knew and loved. And I would thank him for it, if I could.

"Because Dad was right, they are better than us."

"They are _broken. Flawed. Abortions" _

Lucifer was standing there. Staring at Gabriel. Only he wasn't the Lucifer that I remember. The one that pulled Gabriel into his arms on that night that we jumped into the stars….this Lucifer was hardened. Cold and heartless.

"Damn right they're flawed…but a lot of them try…to do better…to forgive."

That right there is the man that I fell in love with.

"And you should see the Spearmint Rhino."

Eh. C'est la vi.

"Amateur hocus pocus."

I couldn't stand seeing him in pain. His eyes, the way that he was looking at Lucifer…I could watch.

"Don't forget…you learnt all your tricks from me, Little Brother."

Though it pained me to hear Gabriel's scream as his grace blasted out of his body…I could hear his last thought echo around my head, as did all the other angels in our garrison.

_It's ok Luci….I forgive you._

We were at the same cliff. In the same place. Only one thing was different. We were both older. We had both seen things that we treasured and we had both seen things that we regret. But we were together again. I looked over at him. He was sitting there, swinging his legs back and forth like a child. His head was bowed, and his eyes were closed. I kissed him. And he kissed back. I wiped his tears away with my sleeve. I took his hand and pulled him to his feet.

"There needs to be more excitement around here doesn't there?"

He looked over at me, confusion briefly crossing his tanned face as I glanced back down into the darkness.

I squeezed his hand.

"All You Have To Do Is Jump"

And he smiled.


End file.
